Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Guadalupe Reyes Marathon

Guadalupe Reyes. No its not the name of someone, althought it might as well could be. Its the name given to a pseudo holiday time, spanning the last weeks of the months of December. It starts on December 12th, Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and it ends on January 6th, Day of the Reyes Magos (hence the name Guadalupe Reyes, oh those clever Mexicans).

It just so happens that during these three weeks, there are a total of 16 (more, if you want to make up your own, or if your birthday falls during these weeks) celebrations. Posadas, traditional Mexican Christmas celebrations are celebrated for 9 days. They re-enact Mary and Joseph's plight, searching for an Inn to deliver their baby, only to find none.

At Posadas, people sing songs, pray, and conclude by hitting pinata's, eating the candy inside and the for the adults, they gorge on Tamales or other foods and drink Fruit Punch spiked with booze...or just plain booze. A little hooch to warm you up in the December night cold, while singing carols, oh those wacky Mexicans. Nine days of eating and drinking, all in honor of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Then comes Christmas Eve, Nochebuena, December 24th. The biggest and last Posada is celebrated. A traditional dinner consists of Tamales or Birria, or other foods, and of course excessive drinking of tequila, mescal, sotol, bacanora, aguardiente, rum, beer or any other alcohol beverage known to man or alien. Christmas Gifts are usually exchanged and opened at Midnight, and after opening presents, more drinking.

Christmas Day is for family, opening presents or spending half the morning yacking in the bathroom. A warm bowl of Menudo is apropos for curing one's hangover. Later at night, more drinking.

Three days later on December 28th, is the Day of the Holy Innocents. A sort of April Fools, practical jokes are played on one another. Parties are held and alcohol intake commences once more.

December 31st is New Years Eve. Parties and Firework Blasts light up the night (both fun and bad, the ones that destroy markets or obliterate half the city block due to improperly handled gunpowder and rockets). 12 Grapes are eaten for good luck, one for each month of the year, and of course, booze and drinking contests go on. A fun one is to take a shot of tequila every time a Gobierno Federal commercial comes on, reminding Mexican citizens all is well in the country.

January 1st New Years Day. Everything is dead, everyone feels almost dead. Vomit covers the sidewalks and drunkards awaken on park benches wearing beer carton boxes on their heads. What happened? God Knows. Later, time for more drinking !

January 6th Dia de Reyes (Epiphany). On this day, the good little children who werent assholes all year receive gifts. They write a letter to the 3 Wise Men and leave in inside a shoe. The morning of the 6th the children run to see what the Reyes Magos brought them. Rosca de Reyes bread is eaten, with a little plastic baby inside. Whoever shall find the baby in their piece (and doesnt choke to death on it) has the honor of throwing a party on Dia de La Candelaria (Candlemas) on February 2nd... Mexicans just love weird ass excuses to throw parties.

(you could stop here, if your liver demands it and youre close to dying of Cirrhosis or if youre a savage you could celebrate ol' Lupe's real name: Guadalupe Reyes Candelaria)

February 2nd. Dia de La Candelaria. People drink hot chocolate, canela spiked with tequila (piquete), and eat a shitload of Tamales. Morning is for church and religious processions in honor of la Virgen de la Candelaria and the nighttime is for music, dancing, partying, fireworks and excessive drinking.

The goal of this Marathon is to drink every day. From Dec 12 to Jan 6th, or Feb 2nd if your liver and kidneys dont fail on you. No this doesnt involve running or exercize, you can stop sweating now.

Enjoy! Good Luck!

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