The Hijacking of Aeromexico Flight 576

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Hijacking of Aeromexico 576: The True Story

Today 09-09-09, Aeromexico Flight 576 from Cancun to Mexico City was hijacked by a fat, smiling Bolivian. Here is the real story of what happened.

A crazy religious nut Bolivian, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, hijacked the Boeing 737 with 112 people aboard bound to el DF. For some reason or another he said they had a bomb made out of a soda can, dirt and lights, and wanted to talk to the president and warn him about an earthquake.

President Calderon meanwhile was like "really? an earthquake? in Mexico? In September? WOW! Thats never happened before...blah". So he ignored the dumbass Bolivian

Mexicans, being the shit talkers that they are said "yeah right, panzon, u aint got no damn bomb, u jus' bullshitting."So while they were eating some delicious tacos de adobada and tortas de milanesa with some cold beers, the Federal Police were rudely interrupted and told to go to the airport and go scrape on some dumbass Bolivians who hijacked a plane.

"We have a bomb! do what we say!" said the fat Bolivian hijackers

"no mames wey" said the Federales.

"Yeah ur right, we cant do shit right, Im Bolivian, nobody can find us on a map" so he let half the passengers off the plane.

"We were hijacked? Whoa! Crazy" said the freed passengers.

Meanwhile at Benito Juarez airport in Mexico City, the Federales were getting pissed off.

"Its been 45 minutes, and im still hungry and I didnt finish my beer god dam it!, and pretty soon its siesta time, Ill be sleepy after my heavy lunch of beer, tacos, tortas and tamales"

so thats why the Federales, in a few seconds, stormed Aeromexico 576, freed the remaining passengers, crew and pilots and slapped around the hijacker and shoved his fat ass into a armored truck.

After the crazy hijacker told the news media he hijacked the jet and wanted to circle Mexico City 7 times as a religious protection for the city about to be devastated, yet again by another dam earthquake.

"Today is 6-6-6 on the calendar! Beware!!" said the crazy man.

"No mames wey" said the chilangos. "Today is September 9, 2009, pendejo"

"wait its not June 6, 2006? D'oh!" said the Bolivian...

Thus ending a very scary tension filled hijacking, in less than ONE HOUR and right before Siesta Time