A Modern Fairy Tale

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Modern Fairy Tale More Fit For Our Times...

The Princess and the Prince: By Me of course

Once upon a time in a kingdom far away lived a young underage princess the only daughter to a mighty king and a beautiful queen.

The princess was innocent and sweet and untouched by man. However when after 15 years of life she began to rebel. At the royal school where she was sent since she was a princess, she met other princesses and future queens who began to be a bad influence. She began to smoke the funny weeds that the princesses took out of a mysterious plastic bag.

MMMM IT SMELLS LIKE PINES she would say.

Try it! Said the others.

OKAY! said the innocent princess, enchanted by the smell of royal pines.

At this age she began to wonder, where is my prince? She began her search until one day in the woods she met a frog.

"Kiss Me, O Princess, For I am a Handsome Prince trapped in a Frogs Body by Some Evil Witch I met On Myspace!!!"

"Ok" said the Princess, I will!. Maybe he is my future Love

So she kissed him.

"Now You Must Sleep with Me, For You SEE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO REVERSE THE SPELL AND TURN ME BACK INTO A PRINCE!"

So the princess slept with the Frog/Prince and it was o so magical. "

WHY HAVENT YOU TURNED BACK INTO A PRINCE LIKE YOU SAID? I DID WHAT YOU TOLD ME AND YOURE STILL A FROG"

."UM YEAH I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE" said the frog and he hopped away with a big smile on his green face.

"IVE BEEN TRICKED!" said the princess, "I THOUGHT THAT WAS MY TRUE LOVE AND I WAS WRONG".'

this was followed by 40 days and 40 nights of sadness and crying in her royal bedroom. she went on Royal MySpace and blogged and bulletined about how sad she was was, love sucks, fuck love, etc.

"FUCK THAT FROG" said her friends, the other princesses. Lets hit the royal club tonight and you shall meet the man of your dreams.

"OKAY!" said the princess, smiling and hoping her Prince Charming would soon arrive.

She dressed in her finest and shortest clothes made by slaves and peasants that lived in a tree. She was not only a Royal Princess now but now she was the sluttiest looking Royal Princess in all the land!.So off she went to the Royal Club with her princess friends. They drank and drank and drank till they could drink no more!

In her drunken stupor the princess saw this gallant knight arrive on a white horse with shiny spinning horseshoes. yes this prince had a pimped out horse. He stepped off his pimped out tricked out horse and went straight for her

"My lady, good evening, I am Prince Charming, would you care to dance?"

So they got Low and she danced with him to the wall, till the sweat ran down his balls. She was struck at how handsome he was with his cornrows and grill. Surely this was a man of class.They hooked up and for months they lived happy, riding his tricked out horse and carriage.

He would perform stunts in order to impress his fair lady. Ocassionaly he would also invite her to his castle where he and his Prince friends would do their royal duties, such as drink beer and smoke the funny herbs that smelled like Pine. O what fun times indeed!.

Then came a funny feeling in her stomach. Then she grew sicker and sicker in the morning. Then her royal hoochie clothes no longer fit her. O no what is happening to her she thought. Perhaps I should stop drinking Wine! I am growing large with wine!

9 months later she had a child, the future heir to the throne.Prince Charming was ecstatic. Until one day the Princess caught Prince Charming with a wench, the dirty town Whore.

"How dare thee do this to me, the Princess?!" she exclaimed!

"Its not what you think! It was an accident" replied the brave Prince Charming, risking a kick to his Royal balls.

So the Princess, ran to her royal chambers and cried and cried along with her newborn who also cried and cried. Then she went on Myspace and posted "fuck love and fuck Prince Charming." All her Royal Friends advised on her on what to do, they all consulted her with their wisdom: "Fuck him! Forget Him! Leave Him!" they would say.

"NO! I LOVE HIM!" she would yell insistently.One day Prince Charming came to her house and apologized for the "accident" of sleeping with the village Whore".

"Okay Baby" said the Princess, as she embraced and kissed Prince Charming.

"It will never happen again" he reassured her.

So they got back together. And were happy for 40 days and 40 nights. Then she grew sick again and once again bore another child. After that Prince Charming slapped her in a fit of anger from drinking too much wine and smoking too much herbs from the King's Forest. She cried and cried but forgave him. After all he was Prince Charming.

"Oh how happy i am with my prince" she said as she was being taken to the hospital after the beating....

The End.